2016 is almost over, and I’ve never been more unhappy with myself. 

Whether it’s the weight or my work in college, I really feel like I’ve let myself down, tremendously. I feel like I’ve been doing that for a while. 

I’ve been stuck in this rut, almost like I’m in a bubble! I can see the fact that I’m disappointing everyone including myself, but the hurt just bounces off. There’s no motivation, no drive. Nothing. Zilch. Nada. 

I need to be disappointed in myself. Because how else will I push myself. Complacency is so detestable and yet so goddamn comfortable. 

I’ve started studying for THE EXAM and I need to focus on my health as well. My brother comes back in December and I want to show him, that I achieved SOMETHING! 

I’m tired of having the largest size in clothes, shopping in plus size clothing, feel at odds with my own body, my age, my peers. 

I NEED TO move my ass and CHANGE. 

ALSO, why the fuck is my dog barking at 430 in the morning? 

Shit. This really is a year of “realizing thing” ( no kidding kylie jenner -_-) 

Hopefully blogging everyday will keep me on the straight and narrow. Let’s hope *fingers crossed* 


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