2016 is almost over, and I’ve never been more unhappy with myself.
Whether it’s the weight or my work in college, I really feel like I’ve let myself down, tremendously. I feel like I’ve been doing that for a while.
I’ve been stuck in this rut, almost like I’m in a bubble! I can see the fact that I’m disappointing everyone including myself, but the hurt just bounces off. There’s no motivation, no drive. Nothing. Zilch. Nada.
I need to be disappointed in myself. Because how else will I push myself. Complacency is so detestable and yet so goddamn comfortable.
I’ve started studying for THE EXAM and I need to focus on my health as well. My brother comes back in December and I want to show him, that I achieved SOMETHING!
I’m tired of having the largest size in clothes, shopping in plus size clothing, feel at odds with my own body, my age, my peers.
I NEED TO move my ass and CHANGE.
ALSO, why the fuck is my dog barking at 430 in the morning?
Shit. This really is a year of “realizing thing” ( no kidding kylie jenner -_-)
Hopefully blogging everyday will keep me on the straight and narrow. Let’s hope *fingers crossed*