This exam has got me so goddamn terrifed it’s ridiculous. It’s not that I’m a stranger to hard work! 

I’m not. 

But the fact that you can only give it once, has got me so gun shy. I keep going back and forth whether THIS is the right time to give it. Should I delay it, should I go ahead? And This uncertainty is exactly what screwed things up for me, previously. 

I was telling dad about how scary and risky this decision seemed and he totally set me right! (as my dad usually does)

He told me Life isn’t without risks. That I just have to give it my all, because what more can I do anyway? The only thing I can do is give it my absolute best. I can’t control the outcome! 

He told me that when he resigned from his previous job, he didn’t have a definite confirmation or offer from the new job but that didn’t stop him. We went on vacation and he was secretly terrified that the other job would fall through. Inspite of the uncertainty he has gone on to do extremely well. Who knows, maybe the uncertainty and the fear helped him, and pushed him to work hard! My dad is not a risk taker, not in this sense atleast, but he has taken some extremely bold steps and proved all the naysayers wrong. It didn’t come easy. He has worked so hard! And I know that, I can see that. He is my biggest supporter. And I know that if he says it’s doable, then I believe it’s doable. 

I have just got to push all the doubt, all the worry aside and FOCUS. GODDAMN fucking focus on the end goal. I know I can do it. 

Hopefully this next week, is going to be awesome, both health and study wise 

*fingers crossed*


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