Pre exam anxiety

I really thought I had this problem beat by now. 

Turns out, I don’t. I go through two phases. The first is one of extreme complacency- just cruising along, not getting much done but somehow confident that it’ll be fine. 

And the second is one of extreme anxiety and stress – And I make it worse by wasting time in a failed attempt to distract myself. That doesn’t work, obviously. 

So I start getting more and more panicky till the time it feels like I have the world on my shoulders and I start imagining a time when I’ll be free of this damn shit. 

Then I realise I willingly applied to med school and there’s no end to these fuckers. 

All of which eventually results in me feeling even more doomed. 

So right here right now, I’m telling myself. Prepare better. STOP WASTING TIME. Preparation helps me take such a load off. And I walk into vivas/orals with confidence, don’t get rattled and generally do well. So work hard, future me. 

Stop putting yourself in these situations. And yes, the next year is going to be hard. But being paralysed by fear never helped anyone achieve anything. 

It makes sense to  hit the ground running if I’m doing this. And work extremely hard make sure I do my goddamn best. 

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